Emily Belle Freeman
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THIS IS MY JOY

AND MY GREAT REJOICING

A Do Better

Welcome Back!!We've missed you…I have to apologize that what I thought would take one day ended up taking a bit longer. But here we are back again.

Since January my thoughts have been full.

This learning about the Spirit is throwing my life into a bit of disarray.

Perhaps you know what I am talking about.  It's like when you decide to clean out that one drawer in the kitchen.  You know, the one you don't ever let people look into? So one day you decide to clean it out, make some changes, do some organizing.  For a short time you rearrange right there in the drawer…but before long you realize it's too much of a mess.  So you pour the whole thing out onto the counter.  Now, what was contained to a drawer is spread out all over the kitchen.  It's like things have to get messier before they get better.

I don't know what this embrace the gift journey has been like for you…but it's been messy for me.

What started as small stirrings inside has started a domino effect.

The more I listen, the more I realize that my life is about to go through a major remodel.  The Spirit is sending me on a journey that is redefining my life.  Who I am.  Who I need to be.

It's hard work.

And although I am getting better at recognizing the promptings, sometimes I revert back to old habits.  The easy way.  Living my pattern.

And then the Spirit reminds me.  A gentle nudging.  A prodding.

And I realize that I have forgotten.

I've forgotten to listen.  But more importantly I have forgotten to respond.

There was a moment I won't ever forget.  I heard the prompting.  But I rationalized it away.  It didn't make sense.  Honestly, my way seemed like a better way.

It wasn't until it was over that I realized my way actually hadn't been the better way.

I felt the heavy weight of the mistake.

It hung over me like a dark cloud all day.  Finally, I found a quiet place to kneel in prayer.  I asked for forgiveness for the prompting not followed.  And maybe it wasn't a good idea, but there on my knees I asked for a "do over".

The answer came back immediately.  A feeling that washed right over me.

"You can't have a "do over" but you can have a "do better".

There will be more promptings to come.

And I'm going to do better.

Listen better.

Respond.

Because what I have learned in these weeks since January 1 is that His way is better than my way.

 

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Emily Freeman