Emily Belle Freeman
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THIS IS MY JOY

AND MY GREAT REJOICING

All These Things

Luke 9:46 - Luke 12:30

I heard the email arrive at 3:35AM.

I knew it was from Croatia.  You'd think after 23 months I would have learned to sleep all the way through a Sunday night...but I haven't...not since the day he left.

3:35AM in Lehi, Utah happens to be 11:35AM in Zagreb, Croatia, and my son is writing home.  As much as I need my sleep, I can't wait for the sun to rise to see what he has to say.

I roll over and open my email.

I read about golden hearts, moments of inspiration, and miracles.  I picture the people in my mind, I carry their stories in my heart.  That is the way it has been for these 23 months.  Him there and me here, but both of us uniting in prayer for each of them.

It is just as I finish reading the words his hands were typing moments ago, but half a world away, that I hear the email chime once again.

The subject reads: ruined things.

The message is simple...I don't need new ones, but you can decide...it's almost over.

The photos bring tears to my eyes.

 

It's not the holes the provoke the tears.

Nor the stitching coming undone just there above the toe.

What becomes crystal clear in this moment is how many miles my son has walked.  How many neighborhoods he has passed through.  How many doors he has knocked.

Day after day after day.

Until he has worn through, and used up, and wore out.

And if this is how his shoes look, then how must his heart look?

A familiar hymn whispers through my soul, "More used would I be..."

And then I read the verses in Luke 12:22-35...

"And he said unto his disciples, Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat; neither for the body, what ye shall put on. Consider the lilies how they grow: they toil not, they spin not; If then God so clothe the grass...how much more will he provide for you, if ye are not of little faith? And seek not ye what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink, neither be ye of doubtful mind... But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Let your loins be girded about, and your lights burning."

There are 71 days left.  My mind fills with the memories of the moments our hearts have treasured over these past two years...all these things that have been added unto us from this experience.  The blessings the Lord has provided...the lilies in the field.

And then I picture my son, half a world away, who laced up those shoes this morning, girded up his loins, and with his light burning began to walk.

 

Emily Freeman