Joseph Smith History
Three phrases I find my thoughts caught up in this morning...
I reflected on it again and again...
Why is it that we sometimes forget about the reflecting? The pondering? Especially in the moments when we don't know how to act...or what to do...or where to go from here.
I think about the early mornings when I have knelt in prayer about something pressing. I pour out my soul and then I go back to the business of life. Consumed with the details of the day, I rush around solving and fixing until day end finally finds me praying again.
Instead of pouring out my soul only in the early morning hours and late at night before I dropped into bed, what if I spent the day reflecting on it again and again?
What if I meditated and pondered in the midst of the ordinary and mundane moments of the day? Would the answer come more quickly if my thoughts were more in tune?
If I had been reflecting?
Again and again.
Today I am going to try to learn from Joseph.
I have a problem that is pressing, and how to act I do not know.
But the Lord knows. So I will let the world revolve, and the task list grow, and the schedule continue to beckon, and through it all I will spend the day reflecting.
I might venture...
This is one of my favorite lines recorded in the history. In the moment when Joseph comes to the conclusion that the only way to find the answer was to ask, "concluding that if he gave wisdom to them that lacked wisdom, and would give liberally, and not upbraid, I might venture." (vs. 13)
Was it because Joseph trusted the nature of God, because he believed that God could give wisdom liberally without upbraiding? Is that what gave him courage to venture?
It is the venturing that intrigues me. Because Joseph retired to the place where he had previously designed to go. (JSH 1:15)
How much time had Joseph spent thinking about this prayer?
I love that finding somewhere silent and apart was part of his consideration. He prepared himself to have a moment that was sacred.
How often do I do that when I venture to ask something of the Lord?
I went home. And as I leaned up to the fireplace, mother inquired...
After the most important moment of Joseph's life he went home. And his mother was there. Imagine the conversation that took place between mother and son on that afternoon.
Consider the conversations that followed.
I want my home to be a place my children want to return to after the most important moments of their lives, and after their worst days, and even on ordinary afternoons.
I want to be the type of mother they want to talk to.
I want to be a listener. I want to share conversations. I want to be there.
There are so many lessons contained within the short pages of this history that I love..."I have learned for myself," (vs. 20), "I was destined to prove a disturber and an annoyer of his kingdom" (vs. 20), "It was the first time I had...made the attempt to pray vocally" (vs. 14) "my feelings were deep and often poignant" (vs. 8), "While I was laboring under the extreme difficulties" (vs.11)
But today my focus is on these three.
I reflected on it again and again. I might venture. I went home.